Day #163

 I went out to Columbia College today for assessment testing, orientation and advisement. I was gone 6 1/2 hours! Thank you Sierra for being there for the girls, I appreciate everything! I did not expect to be gone so long but it was a hurry up and wait type situation. The assessment test only took me 41 minutes, boy am I rusty at academics! About three hours into this adventure I nearly had a panic attack and was feeling like such a horrible mommy for going off and abandoning my girls for so long! How can I justify going back to school if I am going to be away from them so much! I met two angels at about this time who happened to work for Tuolumne County Behavioral Health, we got to talking and they looked at each other and said "let's have a counseling session." They began asking "So how are you?" "Really, how are you? What do you do for you?" "Do you have help for the girls?" Then proceeded to tell me to take care of myself so that I can take care of the girls and to not stress myself out by taking on a large class load at this time and to ease into college. I am very grateful that they were there at the right time! Next is a counseling appointment on Monday and then I will make decisions on where I am going from here. I know I wouldn't be "abandoning" the girls but that knowledge doesn't make the tightness in the pit of my stomach any better. I am home now and had a love fest with my girlies and feel much better about the world :D